A Holiday for Women

Women who believe in each other can survive anything. Women who believe in each other create armies that will win kingdoms and wars 

-Nikita Gill

I raise up my voice, not so that I can shout, but so those without a voice can be heard 

-Malala Yousafzai

A woman with a voice is, by definition, a strong woman. 

-Melinda Gates

ואין הדורות נגאלים אלא בשכר נשים צדקניות שיש בדור
Generations will not be redeemed but for the merit of righteous women of that generation
Yalkut Shimoni 606:19

My oldest child gave birth to her oldest child this week.
It's not my first grandchild, but, for whatever reason, upon my return to work after a two day absence, my presence created quite a stir. Everyone came over to wish me mazal tov, and ask how the birth was.
(Spoiler, it was a bit harder than average; we're happy we live in Israel and not, say, the Congo.)
And suddenly, woman after woman told me their own birth stories.
Prolonged labor, giving birth in a car, cords around necks, weeks and months spent in the preemie ward, or the NICU, Caesarean Sections, post-natal depression, were only some of the stories they shared. 

And each woman, 

each beautiful in every way woman, 

every one, 

just shrugged, told how she got up the next day, and took care of her baby, and the other babies she had, and went on to have more babies, and went on with her life. 

The stories reminded me, though I don't really need reminding, how amazingly strong, capable, and adaptable women can be.

 
Today is Rosh Chodesh Av and, like all Roshei Chodesh, is considered a woman’s holiday. 

This is because women - like Rosh Chodesh - hold a very special place in Judaism. Without Rosh Chodesh, there would be no holidays, no sacrifices (in Temple times), the prayers would not be set; in short, no Judaism. 

Without women, there would be no education, no continuity, no durability; in short, no Judaism. 

To illustrate what I mean, let me make a quick comparison of two very different (and often overlooked) women in the Jewish literature.

The first woman I bring as evidence is one of the only truly evil women I could find in the Tanach; I-Zevel (אי-זבל), aka Jezebel, wife of King Ahab of the Kingdom of Israel. It was she who persecuted Eliyahu HaNavi (aka Elijah the Prophet). It was she who brought about the death of Navot so that her husband the King could acquire Navot's lands. To make things perfectly clear, I-Zevel wasn’t actually Jewish. She was the princess daughter of King Etbaal of Zur, situated up in Lebanon. She brought her idol worship with her, and was so able to influence her Israelite husband that, shortly after they married, she convinced him to build her a temple to her gods, whereby causing the Nation to worship gods not their own. It was Jezebel who brought the Nation of Israel to idol worship, and, ultimately, to their destruction. 

But here’s an interesting fact about Jezebel; when she died, she was eaten by dogs, as prophesized by Eliyahu HaNavi. However, her hands and her feet were left intact and uneaten. The Midrash tells us that they were left as a reward to her because of the one mitzvah she did keep. She would dance at weddings. Whenever there was a wedding, Queen Jezebel would go and celebrate the bride, rich or poor.

But that is not what she is remembered for.  She is remembered for convincing her husband and destroying a nation. 

The second woman I present is the wife of On ben Pelet, a nameless woman who appears only in the Midrash. On ben Pelet was one of the followers of Korach, who, along with Datan and Aviram, rebelled against the leadership of Moshe and Aharon. On is mentioned at the beginning of the rebellion when the rebels first confront Moshe. Moshe, dumbfounded, tells the rebels to return in the morning and God would decide who the true leaders of Israel were to be. In the morning, we find that Korach, Datan, Aviram and 250 others gather together. Our man On, however, has mysteriously disappeared from the story. It is in the Midrash that we find out what has happened to him. On’s wife, aware of his danger, convinces him not to join the rebels, not to participate in the rebellion. On, with the encouragement of his wife, repents his ways and hides in his home when the rebels come to get him that fateful morning. And more; to chase the men away, On’s wife appears outside their tent, without a head covering. Incensed at her actions, the men flee the sight, leaving On safe inside. But that's not what she is remembered for. She is remembered for convincing her husband and protecting her family. 

It is these two stories that point, in contradictory ways, to women’s role in Judaism. The Talmud in Maseket Kiddushin states “Ten measures of speech descended to the world and women took nine."

While many men would say “duh” to that statement, speech is the most powerful weapon of all. 

For evil or for good, women have been rewarded with the ability to influence. They have the potential to change history. Masechet Sotah tells us “Israel was redeemed from Egypt by virtue of its (Israel's) righteous women”. It was Miriam who convinced her father to remarry his wife, who then gave birth to Moshe Rabbenu. It was Shifra and Pua who convinced the Egyptians that Jewish women were giving birth alone and hid the babies from them. It was the women who went out to the fields to convince their  husbands it was worth being married, so that the Jewish people wouldn’t die out.

While deeds are important – Jezebel was rewarded for a physical mitzvah – it is speech that changes history. 

Over and over, we see women’s influence behind most of the great  - and even not so great - men of the Tanach, for good and for bad. Some women are nameless and some are queens. 

(We all know the saying: behind every good man is a woman rolling her eyes.)

Rosh Chodesh Av falls in the three weeks between 17 Tammuz and 9 Av, a time of mourning for the Jewish people because of numerous tragedies which have befallen us. The original sin of 17 Tammuz was the sin of the Golden Calf, and the original sin of 9 Av was the sin of the Spies. 

Here’s the thing:

In neither sin did the women participate. The women did not give their gold to make the calf. Rather they saved their jewels, and precious cloths to give to the making of the Tabernacle (the reason women were rewarded with the holiday of Rosh Chodesh). The women did not believe the report of the 10 spies against the Land. They were ready to go up and claim the Land as theirs. The women didn’t die in the desert in the 40 years of wanderings, as did the men.

Women, our Sages tell us, have greater faith than men.

Nevertheless, the women of the generation of the desert were unable to convince their menfolk not to take part in these sins. They were unable to convince the men that God would never desert His people.

We are now more than 3700 years after the sin of the Golden Calf and of the Spies. 

We have been regathered into our Land. 

We have been witness to open miracles. 

Nonetheless, many of our people still live in doubt; Doubt that we can reclaim our Land; Doubt that we can triumph over our enemies – both physical and spiritual.

Perhaps it is time to make a Tikkun, to rectify our inability to convince the men of the desert of God’s might and His love for us. Maybe it’s time for us, as women, as amazingly strong, capable, and adaptable women, to convince those who have not yet come back home to Israel that now is the time. Maybe it’s time to convince others that God has not given up on us, that God has always been with us, and that with His help, we will triumph over all our adversaries. 

We women have been blessed with the gift of speech, to be used for His purposes. Let us be instrumental in fulfilling the words of Jeremiah:

השיבנו ה' אילך ונשובה, חדש ימינו כקדם.
Help us turn to You, Lord, and we will return,
Renew our days as of old.