Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy

When Life Gives You Lemons, you tell life to get a life because lemons are a terrible gift. 
- Patrick Schell

When I was told early last week, that, as of the next day, my place of employment would be, more or less, shut down due to the Coronavirus, I was, on the one hand deeply disturbed, and on the other hand, wildly euphoric. It’s difficult to sustain both of those particular emotions at the same time for any duration in one body.
Therefore, since Wednesday, I have been wildly fluctuating between them.

Euphoria:
I don’t have to go to work!!! I can sleep all day if I want. Maybe I’ll never go back!!

Deeply disturbing:
They might finally realize how easily they can get along without me. I can’t sleep.

Euphoria:
All this time to clean for Pesach!! This is the first Pesach in 35 years that I can prepare without: 1) the added difficulty of small children under foot; and/or 2) having to clean after work when I’m tired; and/or 3) hosting my in-laws.
Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy!!!!!

I armed myself with five different cleaning products with five different aromas, scratchy green thingies to scratch off stubborn stains, shmattahs in a variety of colors and sturdiness and went to it with gusto!
In a very short time, I discovered areas of my house that have never been explored. 
I am cleaning places I didn’t know existed.

Deeply Disturbing:
I hate cleaning. And my hands hurt.

Euphoria:
Time to do all those things I’ve been meaning to do; clean out the bag drawer, learn something new (anything!); delete unneeded emails; write my epic novel; and begin a strict exercise regimen!!!!!!!!!!

Deeply Disturbing:
Yeh, right.

Euphoria:
Quality time with my family!

Deeply disturbing:
Quality time with my family.

There are four of us in the house, more or less full time. We all decided that since we’re in this together! we will do it right. On Friday night, after dinner, we played a board game, something, when the universe is behaving correctly, we do not do. 


In this particular board game, which my kids received as a gift from their obviously sadistic grandparents about 20 years ago, players need to accomplish missions in order to win.
My mission, should I choose to accept it, was to sing, like a member of the Royal Family, the song Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.
My kids were quite flummoxed that, not only did I accept my mission, but that I knew the words.
Unfortunately for the other three players, I won. 
Unfortunately for all of us, the game did not self-destruct in five seconds.

End of Week One



5 comments:

Knighted Vorpal Sword said...

Deeply Disturbing:
My daughter from Yerushalayim was with us for most of week 1, and she said, "I'm bringing UNO for Shabbat, and you are playing, Abba!"

Euphoria:
She forgot it!

Anonymous said...

Wow that simpsons game looks like the best fun ever! Who's brilliant idea was it to play it?

Netivotgirl said...

I ADORE your writing! You always make me smile and often laugh so hard that my diaphragm protests! Bless you dear Reesa and please keep these blogs coming! Chag Sameach and stay safe!

Misc said...

I'm still laughing 5 minutes after I closed your blog. I had to come back to tell you THANKS!!!

Tara E said...

I enjoyyed reading your post