Let's face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me.
-Audrey Hepburn
I had a cake party yesterday. It was actually my second cake party. I had a cake party last year too.
-Audrey Hepburn
I had a cake party yesterday. It was actually my second cake party. I had a cake party last year too.
Before and after last year’s successful cake party, many people have asked what exactly is and why a cake party.
I will get to that answer shortly. But because the cake party was held in my house, I first decided to say a few words about the Parsha:
Last Shabbat we read Chayai Sarah, and this week (tomorrow) we read Toldot. Tthe first Parsha deals with the death of Sarah, and her burial in Chevron – for which Avraham has to buy a gravesite. After Sarah is buried, Avraham sends out a servant to find a suitable wife for his son Yitzhak. Parshat Toldot tells us of the marriage of Yitzhak and Rivka, how they have to fight to stay in the Land, of their childlessness, of finally the birth – after a difficult pregnancy – of twins, Esav selling his birthright, and Yitzhak giving blessings to his sons.
Avraham spends a great deal of time and money buying a gravesite in Chevron. He rejects an offer of a free grave so as to ensure that his ownership of the Land is legal and lasting. Indeed, the Maarat HaMachpela is the only bit of Land that Avraham owns. And the marriage of Itzhak to a good Jewish girl takes on a certain urgency when we realize that of Avraham’s eight sons, at the end of the day, he has only two Jewish grandchildren, one of whom leaves the path.
In Toldot, we are told how Yitzhak and Rivka settle and work the land and of their difficulties. There is a famine; Rivka is almost kidnapped by the locals; they dig wells, only to have them stopped up in a show of ecological terrorism. The local residents are jealous of Yitzhak’s wealth, of his wife, of his standing, and make his life relatively miserable. A peace treaty is finally secured only after God promises Yitzhak that He will never leave him and that the Land is Yitzhak’s. Avimelech, the King of the Philistines, finally realizes that Yitzhak is here to stay. No amount of cutting his water supply, or burning his fields, or stoning his cars are going to make him leave. Rivka and Yitzhak secure their presence in the Land.
And then we come to Yitzhak’s kids. Rivka realizes what Yitzhak has not; that Esav will not be following in his father’s or grandfather’s footsteps. She therefore arranges that the correct blessing go to the correct child. There is no point in forcing a child to be what he is not, nor withholding from a child that which is his. By so doing this, Rivka ensures physical Jewish continuity. Her efforts secure her 13 (at least) Jewish grandchildren.
We see two themes running through these parshiot: 1. Securing a Jewish presence in the Land of Israel, and 2) Jewish Continuity. These are the same two themes that have concerned Jews over the years: Next year in Jerusalem, and will my grandchildren be Jewish.
I will get to that answer shortly. But because the cake party was held in my house, I first decided to say a few words about the Parsha:
Last Shabbat we read Chayai Sarah, and this week (tomorrow) we read Toldot. Tthe first Parsha deals with the death of Sarah, and her burial in Chevron – for which Avraham has to buy a gravesite. After Sarah is buried, Avraham sends out a servant to find a suitable wife for his son Yitzhak. Parshat Toldot tells us of the marriage of Yitzhak and Rivka, how they have to fight to stay in the Land, of their childlessness, of finally the birth – after a difficult pregnancy – of twins, Esav selling his birthright, and Yitzhak giving blessings to his sons.
Avraham spends a great deal of time and money buying a gravesite in Chevron. He rejects an offer of a free grave so as to ensure that his ownership of the Land is legal and lasting. Indeed, the Maarat HaMachpela is the only bit of Land that Avraham owns. And the marriage of Itzhak to a good Jewish girl takes on a certain urgency when we realize that of Avraham’s eight sons, at the end of the day, he has only two Jewish grandchildren, one of whom leaves the path.
In Toldot, we are told how Yitzhak and Rivka settle and work the land and of their difficulties. There is a famine; Rivka is almost kidnapped by the locals; they dig wells, only to have them stopped up in a show of ecological terrorism. The local residents are jealous of Yitzhak’s wealth, of his wife, of his standing, and make his life relatively miserable. A peace treaty is finally secured only after God promises Yitzhak that He will never leave him and that the Land is Yitzhak’s. Avimelech, the King of the Philistines, finally realizes that Yitzhak is here to stay. No amount of cutting his water supply, or burning his fields, or stoning his cars are going to make him leave. Rivka and Yitzhak secure their presence in the Land.
And then we come to Yitzhak’s kids. Rivka realizes what Yitzhak has not; that Esav will not be following in his father’s or grandfather’s footsteps. She therefore arranges that the correct blessing go to the correct child. There is no point in forcing a child to be what he is not, nor withholding from a child that which is his. By so doing this, Rivka ensures physical Jewish continuity. Her efforts secure her 13 (at least) Jewish grandchildren.
We see two themes running through these parshiot: 1. Securing a Jewish presence in the Land of Israel, and 2) Jewish Continuity. These are the same two themes that have concerned Jews over the years: Next year in Jerusalem, and will my grandchildren be Jewish.
Oy.
It’s not a new concern.
Because, despite God’s promise to both Avraham and Yitzhak that He will make their descendants into a great nation, both of them had to work hard to stay in the Land and have Jewish grandchildren. They had to buy land and dig wells and look for brides. They did not simply sit back and rely on God’s promise. Because the promise wasn’t exactly a promise in the way we understand the word. It was a brit, a covenant, an agreement. “You do this, and I’ll give you that”. Only with the total commitment and participation on the part of Avraham would G-d’s promises come into being. Only with devotion, sweat and sometimes against almost unbeatable odds was Yitzhak successful in settling in the Land. This is true not only for Avraham and Yitzhak, but also for their descendants.
Let that sink in a moment.
All of us who were in the room last night have chosen to live to Israel (with the glaring exception of my two daughters who were not given the choice as they were born here) and by that we are preserving our rights to this Land. And by living here, despite the language difficulties, and the sirens, and the lack of graham crackers, we have a better chance of having Jewish grandchildren.
So, I can say we’re doing pretty good, and we’re following in the footsteps of our ancestors. And in Beer Sheva, which is actually where Avraham and Sara and Yitzhak and Rivka lived.
Which brings me to a cake party.
And what is its relevance?
I first heard of a cake party when I was in the year of mourning for my mother.
I decided that this is the way I wanted to commemorate her and my father, because it’s how I remember them.
It’s a weird way, I know, but an evening of prayers and learning would have bored them.
And I wanted to do something to show that I was, in my own way, paying attention, and try and ensure their continuity.
My parents concerned themselves very much with a specific attribute of Avraham Avinu.
Like Avraham, they liked company, and they liked feeding company.
My mother was the proud owner of two fridges (each with its small freezer) and two very large freezers. And they were all always full. She did buy and stock Empire chickens, so there would be enough for the neighborhood for 20 years if there were a nuclear war, but she also filled them with baked goods. Cakes, and pies, and cookies.
Why a cake party in honor of my parents? Because cake, in my parents’ house, represented the hospitality, and generosity, and friendship of Avraham Avinu.
That was my parents – generous, hospitable, good people, who always had cake for everyone.
Because, despite God’s promise to both Avraham and Yitzhak that He will make their descendants into a great nation, both of them had to work hard to stay in the Land and have Jewish grandchildren. They had to buy land and dig wells and look for brides. They did not simply sit back and rely on God’s promise. Because the promise wasn’t exactly a promise in the way we understand the word. It was a brit, a covenant, an agreement. “You do this, and I’ll give you that”. Only with the total commitment and participation on the part of Avraham would G-d’s promises come into being. Only with devotion, sweat and sometimes against almost unbeatable odds was Yitzhak successful in settling in the Land. This is true not only for Avraham and Yitzhak, but also for their descendants.
Let that sink in a moment.
All of us who were in the room last night have chosen to live to Israel (with the glaring exception of my two daughters who were not given the choice as they were born here) and by that we are preserving our rights to this Land. And by living here, despite the language difficulties, and the sirens, and the lack of graham crackers, we have a better chance of having Jewish grandchildren.
So, I can say we’re doing pretty good, and we’re following in the footsteps of our ancestors. And in Beer Sheva, which is actually where Avraham and Sara and Yitzhak and Rivka lived.
Which brings me to a cake party.
And what is its relevance?
I first heard of a cake party when I was in the year of mourning for my mother.
I decided that this is the way I wanted to commemorate her and my father, because it’s how I remember them.
It’s a weird way, I know, but an evening of prayers and learning would have bored them.
And I wanted to do something to show that I was, in my own way, paying attention, and try and ensure their continuity.
My parents concerned themselves very much with a specific attribute of Avraham Avinu.
Like Avraham, they liked company, and they liked feeding company.
My mother was the proud owner of two fridges (each with its small freezer) and two very large freezers. And they were all always full. She did buy and stock Empire chickens, so there would be enough for the neighborhood for 20 years if there were a nuclear war, but she also filled them with baked goods. Cakes, and pies, and cookies.
Why a cake party in honor of my parents? Because cake, in my parents’ house, represented the hospitality, and generosity, and friendship of Avraham Avinu.
That was my parents – generous, hospitable, good people, who always had cake for everyone.
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